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WEDDING
OF
ALENE
STICKLES AND
NORMAN DAVIS
CAMP COLTON -- COLTON, OREGON
AUGUST 6, 2005
I.
PROCESSIONAL
[Marky
Kelly, the officiant, enters from side door. Norm and groomsmen John,
Sean, Joe, Lee, and Steve
enter from side door. Bridesmaids Jane, Carolyn, Misha, Melissa and
Stefee walk down aisle. Alene walks down aisle escorted by Jonathan
accompanied by Cannon in D by Pacobell
on acoustic guitar.]
II. WELCOME / CHARGE TO THE COMMUNITY
Welcome, everyone. Norman and Alene have asked each of you to join
them today because you are their closest family and friends. You
are their community and their source of support. By entering
into marriage today Norman and Alene promise to maintain and build on
their present devotion, and remain companions for life. You are
here to witness this commitment and show your support for their
marriage.
Jonathan, in walking your mother down the aisle today, you accompany
her on the first steps of her journey into marriage with Norman.
Do you approve of her decision to marry Norm, accept Norm's decision
to be your mentor, guide, and parent, and do you intend to do what you
can to support their relationship?
Jonathan: Yes, I do.
Norman, in marrying Alene you become step-father to Jonathan. Do
you promise to be a devoted parent to Jonathan, doing what you can to
foster his development as a young adult, and supporting his
relationship with his mother?
Norm: Yes, I do.
Alene, in marrying Norman you bring him into the family that you and
Jonathan form. Do you promise to not allow your relationship
with Norm to diminish your relationship with Jonathan and to support
the relationship between Norm and Jonathan while allowing them to
establish that relationship on their own terms?
Alene: Yes, I do.
Jonathan, thanks for helping to give this wedding a good and proper
beginning.
[Jonathan
hugs Alene and Norm then sits down next to his grandmother.]
Just as Alene and Norm have gained the blessing and acceptance of
Jonathan for their marriage, they likewise seek acknowledgement and
assistance from all of you. For my part, let me remind you that there
are no passive roles in a marriage. All of us who are here today
are obliged not just to rejoice and honor the bride and groom, but to
remain a source of support for them.
Stefee, Melissa, Misha, Carolyn and Jane: do you promise to support
Alene in her marriage to Norman, sharing her joy and being there in
times of sadness, listening with an open heart, offering advise with
the best of intentions, and supporting her relationship with Norman in
any way you can?
Response: We do.
John, Sean, Joe, Lee, and Steve: do you promise to support Norman in
his marriage to Alene, sharing his joy and being there in times of
sadness, listening with an open heart, offering advise with the best
of intentions, and supporting his relationship with Alene in any way
you can?
Response: We do.
[Gesturing to congregation] Family and friends, without knowing when,
where, or why, you may someday be called upon to help Alene and Norman
in some way. Do you promise to support them in their marriage,
helping them in times of need, and sharing in their joys as they live
their lives together from this day on?
Response: We do.
And so we all join together in support of this marriage. May
Alene and Norman be ever true and loving; may they fill their hearts
with kindness and understanding, forgive each other's weaknesses, and
laugh together often. May they be friends, companions, and partners,
meeting the joys and cares of life as one. As the years pass, may
their love deepen and mature, and may their home be a place of love
and joy for all.
III. REMEMBRANCE / READING
Today is a day full of celebration, but not without a certain amount
of sadness, because there are those whom Norman and Alene love very
much who cannot be with us today. We would like to take a moment
to honor Norm's parents, Norman and Karen Davis, Norm's grandmothers,
Evelyn Stoll and Elenore Davis, Alene's step-father Kenny Caudell and
her grandmothers, Mary June Bart, Jane Smith, and Sue Smith.
It is in their honor that Sean offers the following reading, a poem by
Canon Henry Scott-Holland.
[Sean
steps forward and reads:]
Death
is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you -
whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
speak to me in the easy way we used to.
Put no difference in your tone;
wear no false air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed, play,
smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever spoken without effort,
without trace of shadow.
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well.
IV.
JOINING OF LIFE STREAMS
Here at Camp Colton two streams converge, their waters merging into
one course which continues on its way to still greater connections
with ocean, with clouds and rain, and so back again to the high ground
which feeds the source of these streams. They are part of a cycle, a
ring of faithful continuance in nature. Water is traditionally the
element of love and surrender, qualities which bring out the beauty in
all of us just as water brings out the beauty of the pebbles over
which it flows. Water quenches fire, breaks down rock, and mingles
with air as rain to wash everything clean. Water, like love, brings
clarity to life.
At this time, Alene and Norm will pour water collected from each of
these two streams into one goblet, to signify the blending of their
life streams into one. John and Steve, please bring the water
forward. [Steve and John each bring a glass goblet of water to Alene
and Norm, who pour the water into a ceramic and glass goblet on the
alter table. Alene & Norm set the goblets on the table and
return to their positions. Marky holds up the newly filled
ceremonial goblet before Alene and Norm.]
Be to each other like water.
It brings nourishment to all it touches
without effort or strain.
It seeks out the low places
and does not strive to raise itself
above all others.
There is no hierarchy in a union of souls.
Each of you must flow like a stream
and surround the other with nurture and refreshment.
May your hearts and lives be joined as this water is mingled.
And may you add your union
to all that have taken place before yours,
and all that have yet to be--
recognizing that all are a part of the ultimate Cycle of love,
the absolute union of Oneness in all of Creation.
As you drink from this goblet the water that you share symbolizes the
joining of your lives together. Just as the water from two
streams, once joined, can never be separated again, may your lives
together forever be intertwined in love.
[Alene
and Norm help each other drink from goblet together then pass back to
Marky, who sets it on the table.]
V.
PALMING AND RIBBON CEREMONY / VOWS
Alene, please face Norm, and hold his hands, palms up, so you see the
gift that they are to you. These are the hands that will passionately
love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of
happiness. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the
tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the
hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or
grief fill you. These are the hands that will give you support and
celebrate with you in your accomplishments.
Norm, please hold Alene's hands, palms up, where you may see the gift
that they are to you. These are the hands that will hold you tight as
you struggle through difficult times. They are the hands that will
comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you
through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands
that will give you support as she encourages you to fulfill your
dreams. Together, as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.
Each of the bridesmaids, Melissa, Misha, Jane, Stefee, and Carolyn,
carry with them a colored ribbon. Alene's mother, Joyce, as a
sign of her love for Norman and Alene and her blessing of this
marriage, has prepared these ribbons. Each ribbon has a word
embroidered on it. These five words and the ribbons they are on
represent the vows that Norman and Alene are about to make.
Together, Norman and Alene selected these words and wrote the vows
they are about to take.
Norman and Alene have joined hands as they prepare to join their
lives.
Honesty - Green Ribbon
Stefee, please bring forward the Green Ribbon.
Green is the color of new growth and of simple, honest things.
As they begin their married life together, Norman and Alene have
chosen the color green to represent Honesty in their marriage.
Honesty takes many forms. The most apparent form is that of not
telling lies to your partner. It also means not withholding the
truth. But beyond that, honesty means not withholding who you
are and how you feel. It means sharing your happiness and your
sorrows with your partner. It means letting the other know when
you have been hurt or angered, and working together to make amends,
learning about each other and in the process strengthening the growth
of your relationship.
Norm and Alene, do you promise to not tell each other lies, to not
withhold the truth from each other, and to share your feelings with
each other especially as they relate to your relationship together?
N/A: We do.
And so the binding of Honesty is made.
[Stefee
wraps the ribbon over Norman and Alene's hands.]
Respect - Gold Ribbon
Melissa, please bring the gold ribbon forward.
Gold is the color of quality, radiance, and precious value.
Alene and Norman have chosen the color gold to represent Respect in
their marriage.
Respect in a marriage means that each partner sees the precious value
in the other. Each respects the other's individuality. It
means that each listens with an open mind and heart to the other's
feelings and opinions and takes them seriously, giving them equal
weight to their own.
Respect means than neither is dominant in the relationship.
Decisions are made jointly, after taking the time to understand each
other. Respect means each supports what is important to the
other, and each is willing to make personal sacrifices to achieve a
greater good for the other.
In respecting each other, Norman and Alene support each other's
relationships with their friends and family, encouraging the other to
spend time in those relationships, even if it means spending less time
with each other.
Norm and Alene, do you promise to respect and cherish each other, to
give the opinions of the other equal weight to your own, to honor the
other's individuality and to support their relationships with friends
and family?
N/A: We do.
And so the binding of Respect is made.
[Melissa
wraps the ribbon over Norman and Alene's hands.]
Laughter - Orange Ribbon
Misha, please bring forward the Orange Ribbon.
Orange represents energy, joy, spontaneity and fun. Norman and
Alene have chosen the color orange to represent Laughter in their
marriage.
Laughter can ease the tensions of a long day. It can evaporate
bad feelings. It brings people together in a common emotion of
joy. Norman and Alene make each other laugh.
Laughter represents the freedom to be spontaneous and even silly.
It means not taking life too seriously, and finding time to simply
Have Fun.
Along with laughter come Smiles. A smile given tells the
receiver that you are happy, and more specifically, sharing that
happiness with them. It means that you enjoy being with the
person you are with. Nothing warms the heart and connects you to
another person like exchanging smiles.
Alene and Norm, do you promise to keep smiles, fun and laughter an
integral part of your marriage, cheering each other up when you can,
finding fun things to do together, and sharing your joy for life with
each other?
N/A: We do.
And so the binding of Laughter is made.
[Misha
wraps the ribbon over Norman and Alene's hands.]
Dreams - Purple Ribbon
Carolyn, please bring forward the Purple Ribbon.
Purple represents creativity and imagination. It is also reminiscent
of the night sky just after sunset, when the world is still and we
watch the stars come out and think about what could be.
Norman and Alene have chosen the color purple to represent Dreams.
A dream is a grand idea that we wish will come true, and represents
our heart's desires. Dreams fuel our imaginations, make our
hearts skip a beat, and nourish our souls. For Norman and Alene,
being here today represents a Dream Come True.
Norm and Alene, to ensure that you grow strong together it is
important for you to support each other's dreams while at the same
time developing new dreams together. Dreams give you common
goals, something to look forward to and to work together to achieve.
Achieving your dreams together makes make both your lives, and through
you the lives of those around you, more enriched and fulfilled.
Norm and
Alene, do you promise to not only support each other's individual
dreams, but to spend time together dreaming about your future life
together, and to work side-by-side to achieve those dreams?
N/A: We do.
And so the binding of Dreams is made.
[Carolyn
wraps the ribbon over Norman and Alene's hands.]
Love - Red Ribbon
Jane, please bring forward the Red Ribbon.
The color Red represents energy, passion, and romance. Norman and
Alene have chosen the color red to represent Love in their marriage.
Norman and Alene have found passion and romance together. More
than that, they have found True Love.
True Love seeks what is best for the loved rather than what is best
for the self. In a partnership based on True Love a balance is
maintained because each wants the best for the other, and neither
would be willing to see the other sacrifice greatly unless the need is
truly great. Instead is it the little things in life that show
true love: gentle pampering given when the other is sick, fixing
dinner when the other has had a hard day, offering a backrub after an
exhausting week. Small gestures of love and compassion will
remind each other of your commitment, compassion and devotion to one
another. Take care of each other, and remain faithful to each
other.
When love first blossoms it is full of intense emotions. We
nearly lose ourselves in the delirium of New Love. As time
passes, the wild intensity of those first feelings is often replaced
by deeper feelings of powerful connection and commitment. That
strong connection and commitment is the foundation of a marriage.
But it is also important to keep the passion and romance in your
relationship. Make time together to nurture your romantic
and passionate sides. Go on dates. Surprise each other
with romantic gestures or gifts. Enjoy your physical intimacy.
Express your love for each other not just in actions but also in
words.
Norm and Alene, do you promise to nurture your love for each other by
remaining faithful, expressing your commitment to each other through
actions and words, and maintaining passion and romance in your lives
together?
N/A: We do.
And so the binding of Love is made.
[Jane
wraps the ribbon over Norman and Alene's hands.]
You have made your promises and are now bound by them as sweetly as
your hands are bound by these colorful ties. As you savor this moment
together, please listen to the following passage from the book
of Corinthians, offered by Joe.
[Joe
steps forward and reads:]
Love
is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
But rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
Always hopes, always perseveres.
As much as they may enjoy the idea, Norman and Alene can't go through
the rest of their lives with their hands tied together. [remove
ribbons and place on table with goblets] When they are apart
they will wear a reminder of the profound words they've spoken today,
and of their shared agreement to make a difference in one another's
lives.
VI.
RINGS
Lee, please bring the rings forward.
Before we proceed with this sacred part of the ceremony, I want to
share with all of you a story this couple told me when I first met
with them -- about how Norm planned to propose to Alene along the
waterfront at the end of a lovely evening in downtown Portland, and
how after a romantic meal a torrential downpour sent them scurrying
for cover and he wound up jumping Alene's car in the parking garage.
As their cars sat side-by-side, joined together by battery cables,
Norm knelt down in his good clothes on the garage floor, and asked
Alene to marry him. He presented her with a ring made of glass
which he'd created himself.
It's a good story, true and funny -- and the ring he describes, that
clear transparent circle, reminds us once more of the benevolent cycle
of water, how it replenishes itself and refreshes the body. Likewise,
may the clarity of love and truth that pervades this relationship be a
continual source of refreshment and replenishment for these two souls.
Norm and
Alene have prepared their own vows to solemnize the giving of rings to
one another.
[Marky hands Norm his card - vows on the back - and Alene's ring]
Norm says:
Alene, you have made my life complete, in ways that I could never have
imagined possible.
As each day passes, and as I discover more and more about you,
I find that you have shown me what true Love really is.
You have helped guide my heart to a place that it has never been
before,
and for this I will always love you.
I promise to love you with
commitment and passion,
to support your dreams and build
new dreams together,
share who I am with you honesty,
cherish and respect you and
what is important to you,
and do my utmost to bring you joy,
laughter, and happiness.
[Norm returns card to Marky and then
puts ring on Alene's finger]
[Marky hands Alene her card and Norm's ring]
Alene says:
Norm, marrying you today
makes my life complete.
The gift of your love simply amazes me.
Thank you for all that you share with me:
your kindness, patience, humor, sense of adventure, and most
important, your love.
I want to spend the rest of my life sharing the best of who I am with
you and blissfully growing old side-by-side.
I promise to love
you with
commitment and passion,
to support your dreams and build
new dreams together,
share who I am with you honesty,
cherish and respect you and
what is important to you,
and do my utmost to bring you joy,
laughter, and happiness.
[Alene returns card to Marky and then
puts ring on Norm's finger]
VII.
PRONOUNCEMENT / NUPTIAL BLESSING
Now that Alene and Norman have promised their lives to each other by
solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of
rings, I declare to everyone here and to the entire world that they
are now husband and wife! You may now seal this pronouncement with a
heartfelt kiss!!
VIII.
RECESSIONAL / TIME OF SECLUSION
[Norm and Alene walk down the aisle accompanied by an acoustic guitar
rendition of "Give a Little Bit" by Supertramp]
We will now allow our newly married couple to go off by themselves for
10-15 minutes. This time of seclusion represents the ability for
Norm and Alene to share with each other the first precious
moments of their marriage. When they return to us they will be
exiting the chapel through the main doors to the sound of church
bells, and we'll be showering them with bubbles in honor of the vow of
laughter! While we wait please collect a bubble wand and gather
together outside the chapel doors.
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